Whoa! So here we go. The end of another month fast approaches and I am back to work in a big way.
By the end of July, I will have officially worked a whopping eleven days. I know, it's pretty sickening for the average person to hear, and normally I would also find this number sickening since it would translate into quite a pathetic paycheck for moi. But thankfully, I worked alot smarter and a whole lot less harder. So all is well.
This time off afforded me some much needed time to catch up on rest and time with the family. My kids and I actually took a trip with 13 extended family members to San Antonio for the wedding of a cousin. It was such a rare event for us to plan and actually execute a gathering of this magnitude. Unfortunately, while at my cousin's wedding reception; my poor wella (grand-mother) fell ill and the trip was cut short. My kids, mother, siblings, and wella gathered into two vehicles and drove back to our hometown of Falfurrias, Texas, in the middle of the night. My wella's fever subsided a bit and she found herself feeling much better once we arrived home--Thank God. One thing's for sure--she gave all of us quite a scare! All's well that ends well, right? :)
Since becoming homeless, my mother has been receiving all of my mail. And after a month since being back in the hometown, it was hardly surprising to find a HUGE stack of envelopes, books and magazines awaiting me. I was really excited to go through my mail since I had been expecting a plethora photography-related material as well as official business-related documents.
As I packed for another long bout of workworkwork, I made sure to pack all of my photography-related reading material. I have so much to read--so much to highlight, note, etc. Not a problem though, as I am more than up for the the challenge and only see my every action these days as another step closer toward fulfilling my dream(s). The only downside is that I will have to devote more time to photography/business-related reading and less time on leisure reading. Boo. This is going to be torture for a (on average) 1-book-a-week girl such as myself. Meh. I'll live. Plus learning about/doing what you love isn't work--it's FUN! OMG. I sounded like an uber dork just then, didn't I? Yikes. :-\
Moving right along...
*ahem* That's all I have to report on my end. Still planning the trips I mentioned in the previous post and hoping to add another trip--a mission trip with the kiddos to Machu Picchu--barring any scheduling conflicts with their school's Spring Break Calendar--in March 2011. Cross your fingers for us!! I think it will be a great way for us to finally begin giving of ourselves as a family--something we haven't actively been doing these past few years. It's time we got back to giving back. : )
That's about it, folks. Time for me to take a DEEEEP breath, rev up the ol' energy engine and pick up where I left off a month ago.
As always, Thanks for taking a peek.
Cheers!
-m : )
13.7.10
My Plate Overfloweth
Whirlwind. This is the word which most accurately describes my life these days. Well, sort of.
First off...being my birth month of July and all, I decided to give myself a day off. That 1 day became 3...then 5. Final tally??--3 WEEKS! Whata?! Yeah, exactly.
As a homeless person of late/by choice, I am SO incredibly fortunate to have an outpouring of overwhelming hospitality from extended family and friends--even co-workers! It's not easy for me to accept and I often feel quite guilty taking them up on their offers to stay over.--afterall...I did choose to lead this extreme sort of existence of my own volition. But...after a bit of rationalizing on my part and theirs; I usually accept most graciously and chalk it up to good karma on the rebound. It sure is nice to have the comforts of a home from time to time. mhm.
To continue, much has been going on, even with the "vacation" (3 weeks of lying about and being lazy) I allowed myself to enjoy. First of all, the business wheel continues to turn. I'm still getting all my little ducks in a row and moving forward as planned. I also tried to touch base with friends I hadn't had time to see in a while. I even "oversaw" the move of a couple of good friends just this past weekend, mhm--avoiding any heavy lifting (gotta stay healthy)--but assisting with unpacking and such. Oh, and I also did a major overhaul on my guy friend's apartment--cleaning every surface, mopping, etc. Why are men so...dirty? And messy? eew.
I just recently decided that I'm officially healed of a tailbone injury sustained during a night of karaoke nearly two months ago. In case I didn't enlighten you before...due the aforementioned injury, I had to take time off from my usual physical activities. This was a total disappointment for me as my close friends and family know. I'm always in motion and never idle. I don't deal with boredom very well, so being forced to refrain from physical activity was absolutely torturous!
Ummm. I'll segue into something somewhat related now. Having run my entire life, I decided last year that I wanted to participate in the Annual Marine Corp Marathon in Washington, D.C. Well, the event went off without a hitch last October...and without me! Personal crisis arose and my health suffered, leaving me without adequate strength and motivation to continue training-- No food intake=no energy, unfortunately. I won't be participating this year either due to my INSANE work schedule and financial/business goals, although...my dear friend, Richard--a former Marine--will be! I'm super proud of him and can't wait to experience the glory for myself hopefully next year. GO Richard!!
On a more practical scale, however; I will be running a half marathon in Dallas come November of this year. Lucky for me, most of my friends are also quite physically active and a group of us will be doing it together. Even better--my beautiful, sweet girl will be doing it with me, too. I speak of my dear daughter. She's a runner like her mama, too!
Wait! There's MORE! Along with all of the aforementioned activities, I have also been planning trips for the rest of the year. My amazing friend and travel companion, Kevin, will be taking a trip with me to South Africa in November and Prague, Vienna, Austria, Berlin and Budapest in December. Phew!! There is a slight scheduling conflict with the South Africa trip and the half marathon, but I'm determined to make it all work out. I can't leave my buddy hanging solo. hehe
Well, that's the long and short of it, folks. Lots and lots going on here to keep me sufficiently occupied. I hope God continues to bless me with health so I can ensure this year ends successfully as planned.
Stay tuned for more exciting updates and as always, thanks for reading...whoever you are. ;-)
Cheers!
-marla : )
First off...being my birth month of July and all, I decided to give myself a day off. That 1 day became 3...then 5. Final tally??--3 WEEKS! Whata?! Yeah, exactly.
As a homeless person of late/by choice, I am SO incredibly fortunate to have an outpouring of overwhelming hospitality from extended family and friends--even co-workers! It's not easy for me to accept and I often feel quite guilty taking them up on their offers to stay over.--afterall...I did choose to lead this extreme sort of existence of my own volition. But...after a bit of rationalizing on my part and theirs; I usually accept most graciously and chalk it up to good karma on the rebound. It sure is nice to have the comforts of a home from time to time. mhm.
To continue, much has been going on, even with the "vacation" (3 weeks of lying about and being lazy) I allowed myself to enjoy. First of all, the business wheel continues to turn. I'm still getting all my little ducks in a row and moving forward as planned. I also tried to touch base with friends I hadn't had time to see in a while. I even "oversaw" the move of a couple of good friends just this past weekend, mhm--avoiding any heavy lifting (gotta stay healthy)--but assisting with unpacking and such. Oh, and I also did a major overhaul on my guy friend's apartment--cleaning every surface, mopping, etc. Why are men so...dirty? And messy? eew.
I just recently decided that I'm officially healed of a tailbone injury sustained during a night of karaoke nearly two months ago. In case I didn't enlighten you before...due the aforementioned injury, I had to take time off from my usual physical activities. This was a total disappointment for me as my close friends and family know. I'm always in motion and never idle. I don't deal with boredom very well, so being forced to refrain from physical activity was absolutely torturous!
Ummm. I'll segue into something somewhat related now. Having run my entire life, I decided last year that I wanted to participate in the Annual Marine Corp Marathon in Washington, D.C. Well, the event went off without a hitch last October...and without me! Personal crisis arose and my health suffered, leaving me without adequate strength and motivation to continue training-- No food intake=no energy, unfortunately. I won't be participating this year either due to my INSANE work schedule and financial/business goals, although...my dear friend, Richard--a former Marine--will be! I'm super proud of him and can't wait to experience the glory for myself hopefully next year. GO Richard!!
On a more practical scale, however; I will be running a half marathon in Dallas come November of this year. Lucky for me, most of my friends are also quite physically active and a group of us will be doing it together. Even better--my beautiful, sweet girl will be doing it with me, too. I speak of my dear daughter. She's a runner like her mama, too!
Wait! There's MORE! Along with all of the aforementioned activities, I have also been planning trips for the rest of the year. My amazing friend and travel companion, Kevin, will be taking a trip with me to South Africa in November and Prague, Vienna, Austria, Berlin and Budapest in December. Phew!! There is a slight scheduling conflict with the South Africa trip and the half marathon, but I'm determined to make it all work out. I can't leave my buddy hanging solo. hehe
Well, that's the long and short of it, folks. Lots and lots going on here to keep me sufficiently occupied. I hope God continues to bless me with health so I can ensure this year ends successfully as planned.
Stay tuned for more exciting updates and as always, thanks for reading...whoever you are. ;-)
Cheers!
-marla : )
19.6.10
This Ball Is a'Rollin'
Very exciting news to report here. INDEED! Very exciting news!
A few days ago, I took steps toward actually going into business for myself. It was such a scary thought when first conceived over a year ago--quite intimidating, in fact. But as I actually sat with bankers and stood in government offices...I realized I was actually doing something now. No longer was this just a wishful thought or a pipe dream. This would soon be a reality. Because I was actually taking the necessary steps to make it so.
I kid you not! Every time I signed each necessary document or received a business related license or ID, etc., I felt such a sense of accomplishment and pride. I was smiling ear to ear while complete strangers gazed at me sideways--wondering to themselves, "What's with her?? Freak!" Had they actually verbalized their thoughts, I don't believe it would have dampened my spirits in the least. 'Cos I... was on cloud nine! I walked through the exit of each building and skipped along toward my car...down the street...EVERYwhere! I...was...STOKED!
Later that day, I was driving to meet up with my friends when Regina Spektor's "eet" began to play on my ipod. As the song played, it was as if she is were speaking directly to me through my car speakers--reminding me of how I'm always trying to "find the beat" --and it struck a poignant chord. Because over the past couple of years, life really had become so unfamiliar to me. It really was like I had forgotten the words to my favorite song--the words to my life's song--no longer able to sing along. I began to BAWL. Not because I was saddened by the lyrics, but...because at that very moment in time...I was remembering the words--the words to my song! It was a happy sort of crying fit. The kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it and fills you with tears of such overwhelming joy that no one and nothing can possibly stifle it.
I texted friends! I called my mother! As far as I was concerned, everyone needed to know. The town troubadour needed to sing about it! And the town crier needed to shout about it! Hehe.
That evening, I had a mini-celebration with a couple of my closest friends. I drank, danced, swam, sang and exuded happiness. It was a grand ol' time. The horrendous hangover I had the next day was worth every second of it.
So as you can see...the wheels are in motion. The foundation is being laid and I continue to tirelessly work toward every personal goal I've set this year. At times I become frustrated and increasingly impatient when obstacles and setbacks arise and slow me down. But I never allow them to become bigger than me or my goals. My focus remains clear and unwavering.
More updates to come.
Thanks for reading and coming along for the ride!
Cheers!
-M : )
A few days ago, I took steps toward actually going into business for myself. It was such a scary thought when first conceived over a year ago--quite intimidating, in fact. But as I actually sat with bankers and stood in government offices...I realized I was actually doing something now. No longer was this just a wishful thought or a pipe dream. This would soon be a reality. Because I was actually taking the necessary steps to make it so.
I kid you not! Every time I signed each necessary document or received a business related license or ID, etc., I felt such a sense of accomplishment and pride. I was smiling ear to ear while complete strangers gazed at me sideways--wondering to themselves, "What's with her?? Freak!" Had they actually verbalized their thoughts, I don't believe it would have dampened my spirits in the least. 'Cos I... was on cloud nine! I walked through the exit of each building and skipped along toward my car...down the street...EVERYwhere! I...was...STOKED!
Later that day, I was driving to meet up with my friends when Regina Spektor's "eet" began to play on my ipod. As the song played, it was as if she is were speaking directly to me through my car speakers--reminding me of how I'm always trying to "find the beat" --and it struck a poignant chord. Because over the past couple of years, life really had become so unfamiliar to me. It really was like I had forgotten the words to my favorite song--the words to my life's song--no longer able to sing along. I began to BAWL. Not because I was saddened by the lyrics, but...because at that very moment in time...I was remembering the words--the words to my song! It was a happy sort of crying fit. The kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it and fills you with tears of such overwhelming joy that no one and nothing can possibly stifle it.
I texted friends! I called my mother! As far as I was concerned, everyone needed to know. The town troubadour needed to sing about it! And the town crier needed to shout about it! Hehe.
That evening, I had a mini-celebration with a couple of my closest friends. I drank, danced, swam, sang and exuded happiness. It was a grand ol' time. The horrendous hangover I had the next day was worth every second of it.
So as you can see...the wheels are in motion. The foundation is being laid and I continue to tirelessly work toward every personal goal I've set this year. At times I become frustrated and increasingly impatient when obstacles and setbacks arise and slow me down. But I never allow them to become bigger than me or my goals. My focus remains clear and unwavering.
More updates to come.
Thanks for reading and coming along for the ride!
Cheers!
-M : )
8.6.10
Someone Get A Defribulator! Stat!
How does a heart which once found itself overflowing with love for anyone and everyone find itself starving for the slightest ability to feel anything? Why can't this be like riding a bike? Why can't it just remember what it was like...to be more brave and less fearful?? Is it because it's merely lost all ability? Do heart cells--like brain cells--once dead, merely cease to be? Incapable of self-rejuvenating/replicating? Once lost, lost forever? Once the heart suffers the loss of love enough times, it just ceases to love?Just dies?? What good is a dead heart?!
I realize love is intangible. But love's wrath and its after-effects are most certainly tangible. Quite physical. As real as you. Or I. The effects are you and I.
How does one go from wanting to save the world to becoming completely engrossed in the sole project of saving herself? How does one go from crying at the drop of a hat to fearing the very idea of shedding a single tear? Once so easily moved...now rarely moved at all. A heart once so brightly aflame now barely warm to the touch--a dim glow, a mere flicker.
It's been so long since my heart has felt whole and familiar. It holds no resemblance to its former self. None whatsoever.
I just need to know that it's not terminal. I just need to be reassured. Please tell me that I'm capable of rekindling my heart's flame...that it's not destined to die out prematurely, permanently. I just need to see a sign...an ounce of hope that it will recover.
Because...despite the loss I've suffered...the will is still there. The will to be that person again--the person with an amazing, unbelievable capacity to love too much too much of the time. So much so, that I was often embarrassed by it...as though it was a burden to bear. Afraid of the stigma it might bring with it. Today, I would do anything to bear that burden. I would gladly embrace it as the gift it was and is--an absolute blessing from God. For now, without this vital necessity, I feel half alive--every action somewhat contrived and robotic in its execution.
"All is not lost."-- I must keep repeating this to myself. I must find my way back. My way back to myself. My way back home. Because that's the bit of me that's lost. *I* am in that place. Back home. And home is where I want to be. Home...is where the heart is...my heart...my old heart.
And I want it back.
4.6.10
Less Talk. More Action.
It's been a few months since my last post and that's mostly because I've been working soooo much! The initial thought process behind that was to reach my goal of being debt-free and then starting my own photography business. Three months in and I'm tweaking the plan a tad.
As you may or may not know, I moved out of my apartment and away from Dallas. I gave away most of my furniture and moved the rest of my worldly possessions into storage. Sadly, I also made the heart-breaking decision to part with my photography equipment out of financial necessity--all of it--a decision i immediately came to regret; mainly because photography has been a creative outlet for me for the past three years. Although I've had a great deal of extra time on my hands with which to catch up on television shows and reading, I still feel a huge void which only my camera can fill. I tell my friends and family how much I miss photographing at LEAST several thousand times a day. And frankly...everyone (myself included) is tired of hearing it!
So, for the sake of my sanity, I've decided it's time to reacquire my photography gear. Even better??--I will be upgrading to a professional camera and taking my passion to a new level--starting my own business! Yes! That's correct. I will be starting my own photography business within the year. It's a lofty goal and I've toyed with the idea for the past two years, but lacked a great deal of self-confidence necessary to spur me into action. But no longer is this the case. Nope.
Wondering what changed? Well, my family and closest friends have been encouraging me for quite sometime--sending me potential clients for the past year. I've also been approached by people--aspiring musicians and actors as well as those individuals who've always wanted the experience of having their very own photo shoot. I'm incredibly flattered by the invitation and honor to be entrusted with such a task, but I have turned them all down. As much as I'd LOVE to photograph these amazing individuals, I just don't feel ready. While I have the confidence and the artistic ability, I feel I lack the training and resources needed to confidently provide a service which meets my standards in every way possible. Although I feel they'd be perfectly happy and satisfied with my work; my conscience would feel otherwise because I'd know it wasn't my best.
This is why I am taking the plunge. Because photography has saved me from dark times and allowed me to reconnect with my since forgotten artistic side. Since taking up photography, I have begun to paint again as well as write. I've rediscovered my love for singing and enjoyment of the performing arts, such as theater and the symphony orchestra. Photography allowed me to discover a new talent within myself and filled me with a passion which I often find too difficult to express with words alone. And when I'm out shooting, I find myself breathless and as giddy as a little girl!--jumping up and down after seeing what I've captured on my camera's viewfinder.
In the coming months, I will continue to work an ungodly amount in order to provide the funding needed to get the business off the ground. I will be shooting whenever possible and attending upcoming workshops and conventions--improving my skills as a photographer and artist, always striving to provide better and more creative work. I will be nagging friends and family to model for me and hiring models only when absolutely necessary. Before too long (hopefully), I fully intend to have an impressive and competitive set of photos compiled for my portfolio--the better to wow potential clients!! ;-)
The sky's the limit and I see no line on the horizon! Wish me luck!!
Cheers!
-marla : )
2.3.10
Altruism: My Lack Thereof
A few nights ago, I settled into bed and tried to wind down to a little CNN news coverage. Airing at the time, was their Heroes segment. Each week, an ordinary individual's incredible story of altruism is featured. Nomiations are submitted and CNN makes a selection from the group of nominees. On this particular night, the spotlighted hero was Luis Soriano.
This story brought many dormant thoughts to the forefront of my mind--well-meaning intentions since forgotten. You see, when I hear of incredible stories of ordinary people giving of themselves and their time to accomplish the extraordinary, I am reminded of the ways in which I have wanted to donate of my time and heart to serve in helping improve the lives of others. But then I'm quickly reminded of how seemingly incapable I am of merely managing my own time in my daily life. Half of the time, I feel I lack the time to do for my own family and friends because I'm always so caught up in the whirlwind known as my life.
These types of stories serve to remind me of a time when I was a pre-law student with high hopes of becoming a humantarian, politician, and advocate for those in need or without a voice. Then in a bit of irony I spent 4 years as a legal assistant to a District Attorney and my desire to persue a law degree was attenuated by my job. I wanted to use my law degree to help people in need. I wanted to make a postive impact on the world and my community. At that time in my life, one of my dreams was to develop a learning/resource center in my community. It would be a place disadvantaged individuals could come to learn technical/computer skills useful in finding higher-paying jobs. Here, children would have opportunities to learn about art, theater, music, dance,etc.--subjects some school districts are unable to offer due to lack of funding. These children would also be able to receive after-school tutoring and/or mentoring. Qualified volunteers would help mothers and fathers be better parents through classes and mentoring, as well. Because so many of the families in my community didn't/don't have the opportunity/advantage of a higher education or even computer/technical job skills, I wanted to be able to provide everyone with the ability--the resources. However, this was a long-term goal which I sadly never realized.
Since moving away to a large metropolitain area and being exposed to many non-profit organizatons and voluteer groups, I have found the ways in which I can serve others are boundless, yet I have watched as every intention fizzles into nothing just as quickly as the thought materializes (except for my brief work for a non-profit news organization). Every Christmas and Thanksgiving, I plan for myself and my children to forgo celebrations in order to volunteer at a soup kitchen. AIDS awareness/education/prevention has always been something in which I have wanted to become actively involved. Having been a pregnant teen, I have always wanted to educate teenaged girls about abstinance, birth-control and safe sex--help them realize that becoming a teen mom doesn't mean their dreams or desire to obtain a higher education have to be forgotten. I've wanted to volunteer with my children and help build a home for a family in need with the Habitat For Humanity Organization. I've also always wanted to travel to countries in need with a missionary group. There are so many causes I want to be part of--so many ways in which I would like to give of my time and heart, but for some reason or another, I fall incredibly short of my goals--never finding the "right time" to initiate the process. This is such a huge personal shortcoming and I want to change this.
If an individual such as CNN's featured hero, Luis Soriano, can make a significant difference in the life of others with so little, then there is really no excuse for an educated person from The Land of Opportunity, such as myself, not find a way to make a positive impact in my community and the world.
As always...thanks for reading.
Cheers!
-m
This story brought many dormant thoughts to the forefront of my mind--well-meaning intentions since forgotten. You see, when I hear of incredible stories of ordinary people giving of themselves and their time to accomplish the extraordinary, I am reminded of the ways in which I have wanted to donate of my time and heart to serve in helping improve the lives of others. But then I'm quickly reminded of how seemingly incapable I am of merely managing my own time in my daily life. Half of the time, I feel I lack the time to do for my own family and friends because I'm always so caught up in the whirlwind known as my life.
These types of stories serve to remind me of a time when I was a pre-law student with high hopes of becoming a humantarian, politician, and advocate for those in need or without a voice. Then in a bit of irony I spent 4 years as a legal assistant to a District Attorney and my desire to persue a law degree was attenuated by my job. I wanted to use my law degree to help people in need. I wanted to make a postive impact on the world and my community. At that time in my life, one of my dreams was to develop a learning/resource center in my community. It would be a place disadvantaged individuals could come to learn technical/computer skills useful in finding higher-paying jobs. Here, children would have opportunities to learn about art, theater, music, dance,etc.--subjects some school districts are unable to offer due to lack of funding. These children would also be able to receive after-school tutoring and/or mentoring. Qualified volunteers would help mothers and fathers be better parents through classes and mentoring, as well. Because so many of the families in my community didn't/don't have the opportunity/advantage of a higher education or even computer/technical job skills, I wanted to be able to provide everyone with the ability--the resources. However, this was a long-term goal which I sadly never realized.
Since moving away to a large metropolitain area and being exposed to many non-profit organizatons and voluteer groups, I have found the ways in which I can serve others are boundless, yet I have watched as every intention fizzles into nothing just as quickly as the thought materializes (except for my brief work for a non-profit news organization). Every Christmas and Thanksgiving, I plan for myself and my children to forgo celebrations in order to volunteer at a soup kitchen. AIDS awareness/education/prevention has always been something in which I have wanted to become actively involved. Having been a pregnant teen, I have always wanted to educate teenaged girls about abstinance, birth-control and safe sex--help them realize that becoming a teen mom doesn't mean their dreams or desire to obtain a higher education have to be forgotten. I've wanted to volunteer with my children and help build a home for a family in need with the Habitat For Humanity Organization. I've also always wanted to travel to countries in need with a missionary group. There are so many causes I want to be part of--so many ways in which I would like to give of my time and heart, but for some reason or another, I fall incredibly short of my goals--never finding the "right time" to initiate the process. This is such a huge personal shortcoming and I want to change this.
If an individual such as CNN's featured hero, Luis Soriano, can make a significant difference in the life of others with so little, then there is really no excuse for an educated person from The Land of Opportunity, such as myself, not find a way to make a positive impact in my community and the world.
As always...thanks for reading.
Cheers!
-m
17.2.10
Family: Redefined
Much of what I write about is inspired by whatever I'm presently going through in life. Other times, I find inspiration in books, music, the lives of others or programs on NPR. Rebecca Walker is the author of "One Big Happy Family". While getting through my laundry yesterday, I listened to her interview with Michele Martin of NPR's Tell Me More. Rebecca Walker's book talks about the American family and the changes its undergone over the years; so much so, that the definition of a family in America has been redefined.
Now, if you'll allow me add my two cents on the matter *ahem ahem*...
The topic at hand is family. Family is important. Family is what keeps us grounded or lifts us up when we fall down. Family is one of the very few indispensable things in life. In our minds, we all envision what a family is to each of us. For years, society will have us believe it is a unit comprised of a mother, father and child (or children), sometimes a pet or two. This family is happy. The well-educated mother and father marry at a socially appropriate/acceptable age and never fall out of love or venture outside the sacred confines of their marriage. Dad has a great job which generously provides while mom stays home with the kids, at the ready for all of her family's needs. The children in this family are healthy and well-behaved. They excel socially and academically. Their life is just oh...so...perfect. This is the belief which many have chosen to subscribe. Not I. As impressional children, we will grow up believing this to be the standard...the norm...the ideal. I will be the first to confess. As a little girl, this is how i defined "family". If you aren't part of this kind of family, then your life is classified as a tragedy. To be part of this misfortune is to be subjected to the unwelcome judgments made on you by the gossip queens and self-righteous hippocrates of the world (or at least of your street block).
My siblings and I were raised solely by my wonderful mother. Though, unfortunately, domestic violence, financial hardship, and a mostly absent father were the norm for me and my siblings, we still found love and support in each other, our mother, our small extended family, and family friends. My mother desired for her children the same as other mothers: a pleasant, safe home; food, education, and clothing. As a single mother, it was a challenge for her to provide the latest clothing styles, etc. other parents could offer their children, but she always made it magically happen. I don't feel my siblings and I ever felt we were lacking in that regard. Because my mother held two jobs, I was often left with many more responsibilities than my friends. This usually included me having to walk my younger siblings to and from school and bible class when my mother wasn't available to drive us. I would frequently need to make dinner, do laundry and clean up before my mom would return home from work. Growing up in this manner was pretty difficult as a child, but in retrospect, I feel it conditioned me to be self-sufficient, driven, and ambitious. I did well in school not only because my mother demanded it, but because I demanded it more. My single mother instilled this drive in me. Without her living example, I could have never learned how to be a strong, independent woman with incredible resourcefulness and resilience.
Same-sex couples are often targets for unfair criticism, as well. This is a bit personal for me as I have quite a few close friends who are gay. Closer to my heart, is my little sister, who also happens to be gay. I've no idea if she has any desire to be a mother, but I would hate to think she would ever be robbed of the opportunity to love and provide for a child because of societal biases. A heterosexual couple's success rate as parents is no better than that of a homosexual couple. I find it utterly ridiculous that someone would even have the nerve to use this as a valid reason to support their argument. There are unfounded claims suggesting gay couples are less likely to remain monogomous or committed, long-term. This too is unsubstantiated. A relationship between two people is still a relationship regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the individuals within it. As parents, a couple is equally capable of providing love and stability in a home. Conversely, any couple with children is equally capable of divorcing or making mistakes in the raising or their children. But to insinuate that homosexual couples are more likely to fail as parents is ignorant.
For some, friends have taken the place of a traditional family. Though I am blessed to have a "real" family, I can relate. I presently live in Dallas. I have been here for nearly a decade without my "real" family. When I first moved to the city, I only had a few friends--1 old and dear (and since estranged) and 3 newly-acquired. Within a couple of months, my new friends had become my dearest friends and eventually...my family. With all of the overwhelming changes and difficulties during this time in my life, my dear friends, my family, were there every step of the way. In the past couple of years, I have sadly lost one of these dear friends/family members to death and been dealt a new set of life-altering circumstances, but in all of this darkness, I have forged new friendships and expanded my little family. Through the years, the support I've received has been immeasurable and never goes unappreciated. My Dallas family continues to shape my adult life and help me realize a new-found sense of purpose and strength; determination and hope.
The message I'm trying to deliver here is this: let us not judge others for not having what society has long considered to be a "normal" family. Let us be thankful for those who are willing to open their hearts and homes to children in need. These are the figures to whom we will look as children and throughout our lives. Let us be ever mindful of those people who have raised us to the best of their abilities. Because of them, we are never truly alone. These people are our family--a truer, more realistic definition of the word.
Now, if you'll allow me add my two cents on the matter *ahem ahem*...
The topic at hand is family. Family is important. Family is what keeps us grounded or lifts us up when we fall down. Family is one of the very few indispensable things in life. In our minds, we all envision what a family is to each of us. For years, society will have us believe it is a unit comprised of a mother, father and child (or children), sometimes a pet or two. This family is happy. The well-educated mother and father marry at a socially appropriate/acceptable age and never fall out of love or venture outside the sacred confines of their marriage. Dad has a great job which generously provides while mom stays home with the kids, at the ready for all of her family's needs. The children in this family are healthy and well-behaved. They excel socially and academically. Their life is just oh...so...perfect. This is the belief which many have chosen to subscribe. Not I. As impressional children, we will grow up believing this to be the standard...the norm...the ideal. I will be the first to confess. As a little girl, this is how i defined "family". If you aren't part of this kind of family, then your life is classified as a tragedy. To be part of this misfortune is to be subjected to the unwelcome judgments made on you by the gossip queens and self-righteous hippocrates of the world (or at least of your street block).
My siblings and I were raised solely by my wonderful mother. Though, unfortunately, domestic violence, financial hardship, and a mostly absent father were the norm for me and my siblings, we still found love and support in each other, our mother, our small extended family, and family friends. My mother desired for her children the same as other mothers: a pleasant, safe home; food, education, and clothing. As a single mother, it was a challenge for her to provide the latest clothing styles, etc. other parents could offer their children, but she always made it magically happen. I don't feel my siblings and I ever felt we were lacking in that regard. Because my mother held two jobs, I was often left with many more responsibilities than my friends. This usually included me having to walk my younger siblings to and from school and bible class when my mother wasn't available to drive us. I would frequently need to make dinner, do laundry and clean up before my mom would return home from work. Growing up in this manner was pretty difficult as a child, but in retrospect, I feel it conditioned me to be self-sufficient, driven, and ambitious. I did well in school not only because my mother demanded it, but because I demanded it more. My single mother instilled this drive in me. Without her living example, I could have never learned how to be a strong, independent woman with incredible resourcefulness and resilience.
Same-sex couples are often targets for unfair criticism, as well. This is a bit personal for me as I have quite a few close friends who are gay. Closer to my heart, is my little sister, who also happens to be gay. I've no idea if she has any desire to be a mother, but I would hate to think she would ever be robbed of the opportunity to love and provide for a child because of societal biases. A heterosexual couple's success rate as parents is no better than that of a homosexual couple. I find it utterly ridiculous that someone would even have the nerve to use this as a valid reason to support their argument. There are unfounded claims suggesting gay couples are less likely to remain monogomous or committed, long-term. This too is unsubstantiated. A relationship between two people is still a relationship regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the individuals within it. As parents, a couple is equally capable of providing love and stability in a home. Conversely, any couple with children is equally capable of divorcing or making mistakes in the raising or their children. But to insinuate that homosexual couples are more likely to fail as parents is ignorant.
For some, friends have taken the place of a traditional family. Though I am blessed to have a "real" family, I can relate. I presently live in Dallas. I have been here for nearly a decade without my "real" family. When I first moved to the city, I only had a few friends--1 old and dear (and since estranged) and 3 newly-acquired. Within a couple of months, my new friends had become my dearest friends and eventually...my family. With all of the overwhelming changes and difficulties during this time in my life, my dear friends, my family, were there every step of the way. In the past couple of years, I have sadly lost one of these dear friends/family members to death and been dealt a new set of life-altering circumstances, but in all of this darkness, I have forged new friendships and expanded my little family. Through the years, the support I've received has been immeasurable and never goes unappreciated. My Dallas family continues to shape my adult life and help me realize a new-found sense of purpose and strength; determination and hope.
The message I'm trying to deliver here is this: let us not judge others for not having what society has long considered to be a "normal" family. Let us be thankful for those who are willing to open their hearts and homes to children in need. These are the figures to whom we will look as children and throughout our lives. Let us be ever mindful of those people who have raised us to the best of their abilities. Because of them, we are never truly alone. These people are our family--a truer, more realistic definition of the word.
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