ah, the sweet sound of the saxophone

Uh, okay...maybe not??

A former friend of mine and I used to completely get a kick out of things like this. You know what I'm talking about. You pick apart a song and solely judge it based on the producer's mistake to go overboard with a particular instrument? Well, the instrument that comes to mind for me is the saxophone.

Don't get me wrong...I love the saxophone. I, myself, played the alto sax in school and realize and appreciate the sound...in certain songs and in moderation.

There is a fine line that separates the musically genius from the utterly cheesy.
Case in point: "baker street" by Jerry Rafferty. I realize that musicians can't really be faulted by the choices they make because they are inevitably influenced by the era. That being said, there is no mistaking the era from which "baker street" was born. The late 70's--1978 to be exact.

The seductive, sex-slathered saxophone sings the sweet sound(whoa! say *that* ten times fast!) of a perfect 1970's porn soundtrack. Then they strive to keep the disco era alive with the synthesized "beats" which can be heard throughout the song.

Lastly, there is the electric guitar solo. Nothing says "cheesy" like a completely misplaced guitar solo. Oh, the desperation in each string-strumming...the unadulterated wailing. Someone please put this thing out of its misery.

Another song that demonstrates the misuse and misplacement of the saxophone can be heard in "I Still Believe" by Tim Copello, featuring Guy Buff on saxophone. It was featured on The Lost Boys soundtrack. I am guilty of having owned this soundtrack as a kid. I, along with other pubescent young girls, was obsessed (to say the least) with the movie and the vampire phenomenon the movie created.

The saxophone emits a sense of urgency or a call to action in "I Still Believe", as if to say, "One and all, come and join the forces against the violent and horrifying vampires that plague the city of Santa Monica. I know they all have strikingly good looks, but you needn't be swayed by such shallow attributes and should instead stand up against the evil among us and strike with a vengeance!! My saxophone solo will evoke the worrior-spirit in each of you as your ears fall on every high-pitched, reed-vibrating screech!"

I'm sure the good times we have all shared listening to our woodwind friend, the saxophone, have not come to an end. If history repeats itself, as do trends; then there is sure to be more saxophone goodness on the horizon.

Cheers.

-m

Big Time

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say "I used everything you gave me"" - Jason Huang

I feel I must preface by saying that I'm guilty of asking people/friends repeatedly if they "know what I mean???" It is so important to me to have relationships with people who can truly empathize with me and my thought process. So, I'm so very grateful to have stumbled upon Jason's quote right before I was about to go to bed (yes...bed...at 0733). If not for its discovery, I wouldn't have the inspiration for this very blog.

I remember being told as a child that it is a sin to not use the talents which God gives us. I never really found any tangible truth in that, but as an adult; I feel I have a far greater understanding of that statement.

Here's the deal, folks. Let me just say that I don't consider myself to be all that religious. Spiritual??--yes. They say God apparently gives us silly humans free will. As a kid, I believed we all had our own neatly-bound book of life. Within this book, existed all we would ever do and there would be no deviating from the words encased within its hard covers. Wrong. This is wrong! Because of free will, we all have a choice in the matter. Well, *some* choice in the matter. I will explain the concept with the following analogy: It's like being the car when we take it to be washed. You drive up to the opening of this mechanical washing giant, where you are instructed to place your car in neutral, remove your foot from the brake/gas pedal and hands from the steering wheel. Your vehicle is now completely being controlled by this huge machine. If you should try to regain control in some manner, before you're instructed to do so; you risk something going terribly wrong.

I am guilty of trying to control that which I have no control over. We all are. When we decide to let go and allow ourselves to be directed by that which is greater than we; everything happens as it should--correctly and seemingly effortlessly.

I adopted this way of thinking nearly two years ago and life just seems so much easier. To me, life is just one, big improvised act. We wing it daily based upon the constant reactions taking place around and within ourselves. The hardest part is merely trusting in the decisions we make based on these outside forces.

So what have these forces been telling me? Well, I've always loved to sing and I want to do it one day in front of a crowd without reservations. I've always loved to write, hence this blog. I am able to express myself and use my love for writing and hopefully entertain those who stop by to read it. Additionally, I continue to write poetry and music. It is my hope that I may someday publish my poems and even a book or two. I have actually been writing since I was a kid, but unfortunately; I have nothing saved from my childhood years. Go figure. And as for the songs--I hope to learn guitar or piano in order to write the music to accompany the words. My father has played guitar his whole life and the child within me wants to incorporate him/his help to initiate the whole process. Who knows?? It could be great and maybe you'll see me on a stage someday performing. That would really make me happy. But let me make one thing clear--it would be for the love of music, certainly not for the hope of riches and fame. I'm really not about all that.

Let me not forget my most active passion these days--photography. Mostly self-taught as with most of my "talents", I hope to become more knowledgeable of techniques and styles. Also, it would be nice to be able to expand my abilities with nicer equipment. I see photography in my future and the thought of this brings me so much joy. I can't wait until someone on the other side of my camera feels the same way.

So how am I doing so far? I Think I will have used up all of my God-given talents when it's my time to go. This blog really brings to mind Peter Gabriel's "big time". It pretty much sums up for me how I have always felt and still feel about my life, thus far.

Open up and say...

... you can...you will...you hope to... you haven't given it much thought, but you will now...you'll at least give it a try...you won't judge unless you've been there...you will look beyond your nose...you will be open-minded...you used to do/be those things/that way, but you're working on it...it could always be worse...you're sorry...what's been bothering you...what's on your mind despite the reaction of others..."I LOVE YOU" *now* or risk never having the chance again... "NO" when you mean no..."YES" when you mean yes...you didn't do it, but you know who did...you need help..."get out and get lost"...what's happening isn't right...someone needs to do something about it...you want to make a difference...what needs to be said.

Don't beat around the proverbial bush with your metaphors, play on words, euphemisms, if's, and's...or's. Be a man, woman.. someone who matters and say what you came here to say.

I feel I have wasted a great deal of my life being silent. Initially because of shyness and a myriad of other reasons thereafter. Saying too much may get you into trouble but saying *nothing*???--well, it gets you just that.

"sing your life"-morrisey

and

S P E A K

no catalyst = no reaction

I've been coasting for far too long...it's officially official. It's easy to get caught up in oblivion and ignorance when you feel you've been drowning in a sea of overwhelming problems, eventually you either sink or swim, right? I *think* I swam. Or maybe I was thrown a life preserver and I'm content to float aimlessly in the water and not exert the energy it takes to kick/paddle to the rescue boat. That's pretty pathetic.

This past year, I've been given a million-and-one chances to succeed in anything and everything I choose to do. I have been serendipitously lucky and been shocked and even amazed by it all, yet done absolutely nothing to ride out the streak of luck to its fullest. I couldn't *pray* or *hope* to have this kind of luck. I've given luck a half-ass "thanks" and moved along from it ungratefully in order to continue in a state of not caring too much or not caring at all. Simply put, I fear I am moving up on the list of people who are about to get kicked in the stomach by bad karma. Yes, folks...I'm a believer in karmic energy and the big karmic cycle. Is it bad karma to accept the gifts which God and the universe throw our way only to accept them because they've been free-falling into your lap for so long and you have now grown accustomed to/taken it all for granted?? Maybe the meaningfulness of it all seems to have worn off, kind of the way "i love you" doesn't hold the same butterfly-inducing feeling it once did when it was said at the start of a new relationship but instead sounds the same as saying "ok, thanks..whatever" at present.

There are a hundred-and-one things that I want to do...accomplish...experience in this life. I want to do them all to the best of my ability and I want to do them *now*. Problem is that there are half-finished projects strewn about me as I type this blog out. There is a half-moved-into apartment in which I reside. There is a half-washed/half-maintained car which I drive. When will I complete these tasks? Better yet, *how* will I complete these tasks? For crying out loud...I have half-written "to-do" lists laying about the floor of my apartment. Some have a line or two marked through one or two tasks. Some lists show no sign of having been considered. My voice messages continue pile up on my phone to the point where my in-box is full and no more messages can be left. I answer the phone...maybe..maybe not. I'll think about it.

There is a grossly evident lack of resolve, initiative and follow-through. Stop the madness! I write this blog as a kick-start to the process. Maybe reading my own words and knowing that it is now public knowledge to anyone will spur some inspiration within me to move forward and complete the incomplete, half-begunNESS that has become my life.

Take a note out of my page, folks. Go forth and *do* something. Use me as the example of what *not* to do and how *not* to go about doing things (or not doing things, as it were). This is a contagious condition and our world cannot exist, nay, *survive* this sort of degenerative, lazy-ass disorder going around. It could spell the end of civilization as we know it. eeK!

'Til next time...

-m

*taptaptap* is this thing on??

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is marla, aka marlabeens for the past 10 years or so (give or take a couple). At the start of my Internet experience (1995), I had the user name jellybeen. It was swiped. Then I switched over to jellybeens. It too was nabbed. Afterwards, jellibeens. bzzT! Taken as well. I then graduated to marlabeen and now finally...marlabeens. I think this is it as for as user names go. I think user names are a bit more proprietary than they used to be say, just a few years ago. I don't believe anyone wants to be *that* guy--the person who is so devoid of imagination and creativity that the only option they feel they have is to covet another's flippin' user name.

As I sit on my bed, eating 3-day old, left-over spaghetti, I wonder what the heck I could possibly write about that you, the reader, will find interesting. I haven't been keeping up with politics or current events lately, so that won't be on the agenda for at least a couple weeks as I will have to play catch-up. I haven't been reading the current US Magazine or visiting the ol' TMZ site, so I won't be able to comment on the latest Hollywood hoopla. I haven't even been to work in nearly six weeks. So, I can't say much about that either. So what *have* I been up to, you ask? Well, I haven't been up to much, really. I recently moved into a new apartment, so that was quite eventful. Moving is never fun, so I will spare the bullcrap about that and just say how much it really sucked having to move--yet again. My new apartment is nicer and situated in a quieter (thank GOD!) area of Dallas. The crowd around here is in the same age-group and mostly everyone is college educated and health-conscious. I say this only because most of these people throw on their running gear once they arrive home from work and hit the pavement.

I should join this group of health-conscious people and I will, just as soon i feel like it. The problem is that I recently discovered or uncovered something I hadn't been able to find for quite some time--my self. Now how is it that someone can lose something so major as one's self? Well, it doesn't just happen overnight. One doesn't just emerge from bed one morning completely unaware that it's missing. This happens over time and you don't realize it until all the clutter and distractions of your "life" have gone...disappeared, leaving you with nothing but yourself. Only by this point, you have no clue who that person is. This is your cue to become reacquainted with yourself. This is where you sit down with yourself quite similarly as you would sit with a stranger and pick their brains. Only the brain-picking is being done by yourself TO yourself.

I am currently in the third official month of this process. I should be in the nineteenth month or so of this process, but I haven't exactly been in a hurry to begin. Getting to know one's self isn't exactly a picnic. I have found out things about myself that I don't find particularly pleasant. As I discover more and more about myself, I try to change my life and mold it to fit this new-found self.

Eh, I feel myself growing quite bored of the subject at hand for two reasons: 1. It is approximately 0500 and 2. I do so much of this self-discovering that it bores me to tears to talk about it.

Well, that's all for today. I assure you, the topics will increase in likability as well as entertainment-factor as the days go by.

Thanks for reading.
-m