I have been carting around so much emotional baggage for so long that I now have no choice but to let it fall right down to the ground and away from me. As I've taken each painful step through my life for the past 21 months, my white-knuckled fingers have been steadily losing grip and today, they've finally given in to the inevitable fatigue. And frankly--I'm glad. Glad because the burden of carrying this dead weight is no longer mine. It now resides where it should have always taken up residence--the PAST.
For a myriad of reasons, we all do it. We refuse to accept change in whatever form it chooses to appear. When these changes present themselves to us in a seemingly positive form, we are apprehensive to accept, but more likely to go with the flow. Involuntary change?--Not so much. As human beings, we are natural control freaks--creatures of unwavering habit. We all-to-willingly and stubbornly choose to remove ourselves from situations which are counter-productive to inner-growth and potential happiness when all signs point to a one-person exodus. When life becomes a garden overtaken by weeds and all the fruits have ceased to reemerge in the Spring; we still remain--deeply rooted with vain expectancy for the impossible.
For me, it's been Groundhog Day everyday for what seems like an eternity. Maybe I don't perform the same, exact actions, per se, but I have been living in a perpetual fog of pointless questions, unhealthy thoughts and sad memories. The VHS tape playing over and over again in my mind is worn so thin that the dialogue and soundtrack now drag--too distorted to even decipher or accurately recall.
So? What is one to do in such a predicament? Easy!--GET. OVER. IT! MOVE ON! Open the next door and walk over the threshold and into the next phase of your life. There, you will find new opportunities, ideas, resources, friends, lovers, etc...it's all waiting for you! Yes..yes...it's cliche' but it's true: The first step is the hardest. "But I've triiiied!!", you whine. Try harder!
The unknown is scary. Yes, this is true. But the unrealized is even scarier. Quit drowning in the cesspool of your enumerated failings and take firm hold of the safety line you've been given and pull yourself out. Then, wash off all of the past--it's lies, deceit, and negativity. Forgive. Accept. Emerge a shinier and happier version of your former self. And when you're ready...dive into the unpolluted vastness of opportunities that awaits you in the intimidating unknown we call life.
