no catalyst = no reaction

I've been coasting for far too long...it's officially official. It's easy to get caught up in oblivion and ignorance when you feel you've been drowning in a sea of overwhelming problems, eventually you either sink or swim, right? I *think* I swam. Or maybe I was thrown a life preserver and I'm content to float aimlessly in the water and not exert the energy it takes to kick/paddle to the rescue boat. That's pretty pathetic.

This past year, I've been given a million-and-one chances to succeed in anything and everything I choose to do. I have been serendipitously lucky and been shocked and even amazed by it all, yet done absolutely nothing to ride out the streak of luck to its fullest. I couldn't *pray* or *hope* to have this kind of luck. I've given luck a half-ass "thanks" and moved along from it ungratefully in order to continue in a state of not caring too much or not caring at all. Simply put, I fear I am moving up on the list of people who are about to get kicked in the stomach by bad karma. Yes, folks...I'm a believer in karmic energy and the big karmic cycle. Is it bad karma to accept the gifts which God and the universe throw our way only to accept them because they've been free-falling into your lap for so long and you have now grown accustomed to/taken it all for granted?? Maybe the meaningfulness of it all seems to have worn off, kind of the way "i love you" doesn't hold the same butterfly-inducing feeling it once did when it was said at the start of a new relationship but instead sounds the same as saying "ok, thanks..whatever" at present.

There are a hundred-and-one things that I want to do...accomplish...experience in this life. I want to do them all to the best of my ability and I want to do them *now*. Problem is that there are half-finished projects strewn about me as I type this blog out. There is a half-moved-into apartment in which I reside. There is a half-washed/half-maintained car which I drive. When will I complete these tasks? Better yet, *how* will I complete these tasks? For crying out loud...I have half-written "to-do" lists laying about the floor of my apartment. Some have a line or two marked through one or two tasks. Some lists show no sign of having been considered. My voice messages continue pile up on my phone to the point where my in-box is full and no more messages can be left. I answer the phone...maybe..maybe not. I'll think about it.

There is a grossly evident lack of resolve, initiative and follow-through. Stop the madness! I write this blog as a kick-start to the process. Maybe reading my own words and knowing that it is now public knowledge to anyone will spur some inspiration within me to move forward and complete the incomplete, half-begunNESS that has become my life.

Take a note out of my page, folks. Go forth and *do* something. Use me as the example of what *not* to do and how *not* to go about doing things (or not doing things, as it were). This is a contagious condition and our world cannot exist, nay, *survive* this sort of degenerative, lazy-ass disorder going around. It could spell the end of civilization as we know it. eeK!

'Til next time...

-m